What we know is this - The hemorrhage originally occurred when there was an abnormality in the uterine lining that allowed blood to get underneath and form a type of blister. As you know, this blister (or hemorrhage) had grown to 143 cc and then decreased to 15 cc over the last eight weeks. At this point, it is nearly gone and is hard to even see on the ultrasound. My bleeding had also almost completely stopped. This was all really good news..
Then, last Tuesday, I started bleeding again - more than ever. The specialist says this bleeding is coming from the hemorrhage. However, instead of pooling/collecting like it has in the past (to form the hemorrhage/blister) it is simply bleeding out. Think of it like this - previously the blood would pool and slowly trickle out. Somehow, the blood has created a well-formed path (like a river) and rather than collect, it is bleeding straight out of me. Once again, there is no way to figure out why this has happened, and there is no way to fix it. As the specialist said today, we are back to "wait and see."
His concerns have changed slightly. We are no longer at risk of miscarriage, because I am farther along, and because the hemorrhage has decreased. We are, however, at risk for pre-term labor and stunted growth of the baby in the womb (small birth weight). Basically, if the blood starts to irritate my uterus, I could start having contractions and go into pre-term labor. We are going to see the specialist again in two weeks. At that point, I will be 24 weeks and can start receiving steroids to help the baby live outside the womb.
Matt and I are feeling a little overwhelmed and discouraged today. I am coming to terms with the reality that I could most likely bleed this entire pregnancy and remain on bedrest. However, that is too daunting to wrap my head around, so instead I am trying to focus on making it to 24 weeks and the next appointment. Then we will see what our next steps are.
I realize 24 weeks is not the goal. In fact, I know of several situations where babies were 24 weeks or more and still didn't make it, so we set our goal on getting much farther than that. Everyone keeps telling me I don't want to have a NICU baby - that it's exhausting and stressful. But at the moment, I would settle for having this baby whenever it wants to come, as long as it survives.
He is a fighter - just floating around in there, kicking me, and acting like he doesn't have a care in the world. I am thankful for that, and thankful for all these weeks we have had with him. I hope he makes it and we get to meet him and Carter gets his little brother. It would be terribly heartbreaking to lose him at this point.
Psalm 34:18
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed."
Please continue to pray for us. That's all that really makes a difference right now and it means so much to us. Thank you.
22 week baby bump
Stacey, please don't stress about the possibility of being in the NICU. Though you didn't plan on that route, it isn't that scary of a place and they will take such good care of your lil man. I understand how scary it might seem, but God has a plan and he has wonderful, talented people that work miracles. Please don't hesitate to ask me anything about our experience!
ReplyDeleteThinking about you and your family, praying for all of you. Keep thinking positive!